Heavier than a cow in arms
One of the things I love about Spanish is how much fun everyone has with similes. When I was studying at the Escuela Oficial de Idiómas (the Official School of Languages) many years ago I picked up some classic comparisons such as: ser más largo que un día sin pan – to be longer than a day without bread, ser más alegre que unas castanuelas – to be happier than a set of castanets (!), the seemingly inexplicable ser más chulo que un ocho – to be smarter / flashier / cooler than the number eight (8 was apparently the number of a tram in Madrid on which the spiffy kids rode to go to the San Isidro fair), and the marvellous ser más corto que las mangas de un chaleco – to be shorter than the sleeves of a waistcoat, ie, ‘as thick as two short planks’.
Out there, however, in the street, in songs, on the web and in the press you can read / hear a million and one más + adjective + que expressions that seem to have been made up on the spot and that run the whole gamut from corny, absurd, witty and ironic, to cringe-makingly crude and absolutely hilarious. Here are a few choice insults for starters.
– Eres más pesado que una vaca en brazos. You’re ‘heavier’ than a cow in arms, in other words, a very large pain in the neck.
– Eres más inútil que un cenicero en una moto. You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.
– Eres más vago que la chaqueta de un guardia civil. You’re lazier than the jacket of a Guardia Civil. Nuff said.
– Eres más largo que la infancia de Heidi. You’re longer than Heidi’s childhood.
– Tienes más pelígro que una piraña en un bidet. You’re more dangerous than a piranha fish in a bidet.
– Tienes menos detalles que el salpicadero de un Seat Panda. You’ve got fewer ‘details’ than the dashboard of a Seat Panda / You’re an inconsiderate s.o.b. This is a play on words as detalles are details but tener detalles means ‘to be thoughtful, considerate’.
– Eres más basto que un Petisui de morcilla. You’re more unrefined / uncouth than a black pudding-flavoured Petit Suiss (Petit Suiss is a popular make of fromage frais).
– Andas más perdido que un pulpo en un garaje. You’re more ‘lost’ / out of your depth than an octopus in a garage.
– Eres más feo que el parto de Mick Jagger. Poor old Mick. You’re uglier than the birth of Mick
Jagger.
Feel like adding any more? There are hundreds ….
Tags: idiomatic expressions, language
January 21st, 2010 at 5:47 pm
“You’ve got less class than a coffin covered with Pokemon stickers.”
On the other hand, my Spanish in-laws rolled up when I described someone as “all fur coat and no knickers.”
January 21st, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Great great stuff!!!! Trying to look at it as a non-native, I realize how creative Spaniards can be! Never heard of the one with the piranha before!
February 7th, 2010 at 1:02 am
Jajajajajajaajajajajaaj, soy Sonia, soy española, vivo en Barcelona, asi que hablo castellano y catalán……………….me encantan todas las expresiones que has puesto, sobre todo la del pobre Mick Jagger, que es “feo con avaricia” (literal would be “he is ugly with avarice”, it means “Toda la fealdad para él”, jejejejeje)………………….. pero tenemos muchísmas expresiones más. Ahora se me ocurren algunas que me gustaría quedaran para la posteridad (jeje)…………siempre con traducción totalmente literal al español………..ahí van:
-”Esto es más largo que el parto de una burra” (“This is longer than a mule’s labor”)
-”Esto es pan comido” (lo decimos cuando algo es muy facil….”This is eaten bread”)
-”Es más difícil que encontrar una aguja en un pajar”
(“This is more difficult than finding a needle in a barn”)
-”Eres más tonto que Abuncio, el que asó la manteca”
(“You are sillier than Abuncio who roasted the butter”)
-”Estar más negro que un tizón/ que un conguito”
(“You are darker than the stain/ conguito”) conguito is peanut bathed in chocolate.
-”Este pierde más aceite/ es de la acera de enfrente (cuando hablamos de alguien que es homosexual)
(“This guy leaks oil/ is from the opposite pavement”)
-”El que con niños se acuesta….mojado se levanta” (“Who sleeps with children, rising damp”)
-”Es más burro que un arado”
(“You are like a bull in a China shop/ “You are more mule than a plow in a rubbish dump”)
-”Eres más cargante que un carajillo” (“You are more annoying than a coffee with brandy”)
Hay un millón de ellos mas pero ahora mismo no me acuerdo……….la verdad es que la mayoria nos sale de forma espontanea y ni siquiera entendemos lo que decimos cuando lo decimos ya que pertenecen a la tradición oral popular, algunos si pueden tener una historia escondida o un origen de por que se dicen asi, muchos otros no se sabe.
Me ha gustado mucho vuestra pagina.
February 10th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
I saw you the other day with Andreu, I haven´t hear from you before.
One of the last “expresions” I´ve heard is “Eres mas pesao que el cunyao de Rocky ( You´re heavier than Rocky´s brother in law) The meaning is the same as per the cow in arms, but new version.
I´ll come back with new ones soon.
March 27th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
These were fun to read! I am searching for some idiomas relating to family/family life.. do you know any?
March 30th, 2010 at 8:47 am
Will rack my brains Amanda and have a think.