Animals ‘speak’ different languages. An English dog responds to “Sit!” a Catalan dog to “¡Seu!” and a Spanish dog to the long-winded “¡Siéntate!” Of course, what they are responding to (or not, as the case may be) is the tone, not the word. My cats don’t care what I call them as long as I put on my high-pitched come-here-cutie-pie voice that just might mean food is in the offing. What, however, do they ‘say’ back to me? Well, one of them makes a sound a bit like a seagull in pain, but generally speaking they make a little meow of delight. Or should I say miau, for they are Spanish cats.

The spelling may be different, but a meow and a miau amount to pretty much the same thing. Dogs in Spain, on the other hand, do not go woof woof, but they do come close to bow-wow with guau-guau, or in Gallego jau-jau. Don’t ask me where the Catalans get bap-bap from. Likewise, cows go muu and sheep and goats behehe, which is of course exactly how they bleat in English, even though we write it ‘baa’. Bees bzzz, cuckoos call cúcu, and while burros don’t quite manage heehaw, iii-aah is close enough. Broody hens, on the other hand, clo-clo-clo as opposed to cluck-cluck-cluck and turkeys, perhaps more reasonably glu-glu-glu rather than gobble-gobble-gobble.

And what of little birdies? How come they tweet in English and say pío-pío in Spanish? Who knows, but in Spanish, Sylvester’s feathered friend Tweetie Pie is simply – and logically – called Piolin (cute little tweet).

Oh well, at least ducks the world over do something very similar to quacking (except in Greek, where they pa-pa-pa). In Spain, they cuac-cuac – or if they’re andaluz, cua-cua. Which reminds me of a Spanish joke. There’s this bloke who’s always boasting to his friend about how clever his duck is, so he invites him to his house for a demonstration. He says to the duck: “Bring me my sweater.” “¿Cuá?” says the duck. “El amarillo,” says the owner, “See what I mean?” (Cuál means which’, so the duck is asking: Which sweater? The yellow one.)

And before anyone mentions the word cock or gallo, that gets a mini post all of its own. Coming soon …

Tags: Spain humour, Spanish jokes, Spanish language

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