cursing in castellano
The Spanish are hugely fond of metaphorically defecating in and on all kinds of unsuitable surfaces and recipients. The least alarming is the sea. Me cago en la mar, I shit in the sea. Or for those of more gentile disposition, me cachis en la mar, or even just me cachis …. I euphemistically shit in the sea. Interestingly, however, this is not just any old sea, it is la mar: the literary, romantic and uplifting feminine sea, as opposed to el mar, your regular masculine pollution-filled dumping ground.
Next we have the bizarre me cago en diez, I shit on number ten, which becomes quite logical in an oh-sugar-sort of way when we come to the third metaphorical toilet: God, or Dios. Diez is a cop-out for Dios and thus far less blasphemous. In a country where the Church has historically held great power and sway, religion-related swearwords are among the strongest – much stronger than the equivalents of our own c- and f- words. That is certainly the case with – the surely very difficult to manage – me cago en la hostia, I shit on the communion wafer. We are getting really offensive now.
It is also possible to contaminate the Virgin Mary, Saint Peter, the bollocks of Saint Joseph, and the communion wine goblet, as in me cago en la Virgen / San Pedro / los cojones de San José / la copa cáliz.
Sometimes the speaker wishes to make a more personal, fuck you kind of an insult, in which case he or she might opt for the hugely nasty me cago en tus muertos – on your dear departed. Spanish sportsmen, who think the world of their own mothers, are pathologically addicted to dumping on those of their opponents, as in me cago en tu madre, or worse still, en tu puta madre (on your whore of a mother). An act for which they are frequently sent off, reprimanded or fined.
Like in a John Waters movie, just when you think bad taste couldn’t get worse, comes the unpleasantest of all the excretal expletives – me cago en la leche, I shit in the milk. Once you get over your initial squeamishness, though, you’ll probably find yourself using it a lot as it is actually a very mild blast-and-damn grade curse.
Stop reading here if you prefer not to know that it can be topped. Francisco has just kindly reminded me not to forget Me cago en la leche que mamaste: I, er, crap in the milk that you suckled. Me cachis, I did warn you…
Tags: Humour, idioms, Spanish language, Spanish slang
February 9th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
That’s true. As Spanish I see those expressions as something quite normal. Kids shouldn’t say them, but in grown adults it’s even a casual way of talking.
I’d like to add a pair of “Me cago en” forms, like Me cago en la madre que te pario / I shit on the mother who gave birth you. But not only the poor mothers are suitable to be defecated on. The fathers have their own Me cago en tu padre. Is not a really nice thing to say to anybody.
We Spanish use to say those kind of things to release our anger and stress. There are some options to scream when things are going really wrong. Me cago en todo lo que se menea / I shit on anything that moves and Me cago en mi vida / I shit on my life are two examples.
February 9th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Yes, to us they really seem quite normal now. it’s only when you sit and analyse them that they seem quite weird! (pero qué me dices de bloody hell etc). I don’t think I ever heard anyone cagar so much in the leche as Antonio Alcantara in the TV series Cuentme!
February 9th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
I´d like to add “Me cago en tus muelas” (I shit on your back teeth), which definitely comes handy when going to the dentist´s.
February 11th, 2010 at 11:50 am
Theresa, just posted in Facebook a link I hope can help a bit, because some (if not all) of these expresions can be found in the books Speaking in Silver (Hablando en Plata) and From Lost to the River (De Perdidos al Rio). Hope you can find them or somebody can let you read them, surely you will have a good laugh reading them
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:02 am
I’d like to point out that every Spanish curse that mentions someone’s mother has a source in Arabian cursing. Spanish has an important amount of arabian-sourced words and expresions that remained in the language after Muslim occupation (in fact, Arabian is the Spanish second main lexical source, just after Latin). It’s probably the origin of all those “shitting in something” curses, too.
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:28 am
How interesting. I didn’t know that, though I am aware of the influence of Arabic on castellanp and have written a couple of articles on the subject. As for the ‘crapping curses’ , it sounds quite plausible. Something to find out ….